Heartfelt Retirement Wishes for Your friend the military. Funny

Friend, Congratulations on your retirement from the military! Finally, you can trade in your fatigues for pajamas and your boot camp schedule for endless naps. I'm sure you'll be missed by your fellow soldiers, but they'll understand - who wants to wake up before noon when you could be perfecting your "retired person" shuffle? Enjoy your well-deserved freedom!

Friend, congratulations on your retirement! After all those years of marching to the beat of a different drum, you're finally free to follow the music of your own choosing! No more early wake-up calls, no more inspections, and most importantly, no more mess hall mystery meat. Enjoy every second of this well-deserved break, you've earned it!