Heartfelt Retirement Wishes for Your brother the real estate agent. Funny

Dearest Brother, So, you're finally hanging up your "SOLD!" sign and trading open houses for open bars? Congratulations on your retirement! After years of navigating the treacherous waters of real estate – dodging lowball offers and temperamental buyers – you deserve a long, luxurious break. No more frantic showings, no more endless paperwork, just relaxation and maybe even a little (okay, a lot) of nap time. Consider this your official license to wear slippers all day and confuse "closing costs" with "nap costs." Enjoy this new chapter, you magnificent real estate retiree!

"Dear Brother, As you finally escape the daily grind of showings and open houses, I'm thrilled to send my heartiest congratulations on your 'House-After-Hours' retirement! May your days now be filled with the simple joys of gardening, golf, or ranch dressing. You've earned every minute of relaxation after decades of 'hanging by the phone' waiting for a late-night seller panicked at 2 AM wondering if the sale will close. Semiretired doesn't begin to cover it!"